Creative Juices

If You Don't Know Me By Now

Got another survey forward thing... thought I'd just answer it here... for the whole world to see...

1. What color are your kitchen plates: off white
2. What book are you reading now: none, do people still read books?
3. What's on your mouse pad: I realized with this question that I have four mouse pads... at work, the mouse pad that came with the computer, a micron symbol.... at home with Baxter, a kitten sleeping in a hammock... at home with Ellie, a Georgia Tech one... at home on the church computer (which really needs a name) a Road Runner.
4. Favorite magazines: Entertainment Weekly
5. Favorite scents: On me, Romance or Pink. On him, Very Sexy or Drakkar.
6. Least favorite smell: The unidentifiable smell coming from our frig for the past two weeks.
7. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning: damn.
8. Favorite colors: Purple
9. Least Favorite: flouresent orange or yellow or green
10. How many rings before you answer the phone: two or three
11. Future child's name: Leah Michele is the only decided one. I like Christopher, Benjamin Isaiah, Starr Elizabeth, Sabrina Jr...
12. Do you like to drive fast: Only when I dont think it's fast.
13. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: No.
14. Do you like storms: most of the time.
15. What type was your first car: Type A
16. If you could meet one human, dead or alive, who would it be: Patrick
17. What is your sign and your birthday: Pisces, February 22, 1979
18. Do you like to eat the stems of broccoli: Gross no.
19. If you could have any job, what would it be: A yearbook advisor.
20. If you could have any color hair, what would it be: I think I've had every color hair at one time or another.
21. Have you ever been in love: Yes.
22. Is the glass half full or half empty: just half.
23. Favorite movie(s): Matrix, Chicago, Moulin Rouge, An American President
24. Do you type with your fingers on the right keys: yes, of course.
25. What's under your bed: a box with wrapping paper and toy mice.
26. What is your favorite number: 26, hehe.
27. Favorite sport to watch: uh, do I have to?
28. What is your single biggest fear: dentist and bees.
29. Say one nice thing about the person who sent this to you: Rocksie is the bestest!
30. Person most likely to respond: no one.
31. Person you sent this to least likely to respond: I dunno.
32. Favorite TV shows: Of all time: Dawson's Creek, Mad About You. Currently: Alias, Everwood, Gilmore Girls, I'm With Her, Nip/Tuck, Ed, The O.C., Friends, ER, Miss Match, Joan of Arcadia, Boston Public.
33. Ketchup or mustard: Ketchup.
34. Hamburger or hot dog: Hot dogs.
35. Favorite soft drink: Cheerwine.
36. The best places you've ever been: New York City.
37. What screen saver is on your computer now: Screensavers suck the life out of your computer.
38. What song are you listening to right now: Beth Ann (my officemate) chewing.
39. Burger King or McDonalds: dont even get me started...

Cause I Want to Share Forever With You, Baby

I rarely dream. Or, as Emily prefers I say, I rarely remember my dreams (everyone dreams, Sabrina). But this morning, in between the time that Belle woke me up for a snuggle and the time that my alarm went off, I dreamt. And I remembered it when I woke up.
(I'll give you back story as needed).
So, Steve and I, the current versions of ourselves, were spending the day with Leah. (Leah, mind you, was my best friend from elemetary school. Once I moved to Florida, she refused to speak to me. Still, I have this crazy connection to her, so much so that I have planned for as long as I can remember to name my first daughter after her. Recently, my mom tracked her down, and gave me her number, but I havent had the guts to call her. Steve never knew her personally). We're at Leah's house in Brooklyn, which I remember very clearly (as I always do remember floor plans and furniture layouts). First, we're downstairs catching up with Leah's mom. (They dont even live in this house anymore... havent for ten years). Her dad is playing Heart and Soul on the piano (he taught that to us when we were young) and Leah is by the bay window reading a book. Her mother keeps asking her to stop reading and come join us, but she refuses, the book is very important to her life somehow.
Next thing I know, Steve and I are sitting on her daybed, in her room, reading this important book. And her father is downstairs singing to Supernatural. Leah had to run to the store with her mom. Steve and I are talking back and forth about this book. I dont know the content of the book or what we're talking about, all I know is how important it is.
Then, I'm in their bathroom, which has been recently remodeled... actually, it's still being remodeled. They're extended the wall to make it a bigger room. (They had the tiniest bathroom. One bathroom for 6 people). I think to myself that the navy tiles make the room look small and they should have chosen a lighter color to make it look bigger. Then I wonder where the bedroom went that was between the bathroom and Leah's room.
Leah's dad calls for me to come downstairs and listen to him play the piano. He plays Godsend perfectly, singing in all three of dcTalk's voices. Steve comes downstairs to join me and we stand and listen to him.
Leah and her mom come home through the back door by the kitchen with tons of bags from Publix (except Publix supermarkets dont even exist in NY). Leah starts pulling out all these different juice bottles, orange juice, apple juice, peach juice. I know exactly what they are for. Adam must be coming over soon. (Adam was Leah's cousin who lives a couple of blocks away. He would come over all the time and hang out with us. He used to mix all these juices together, and call it his power drink, which helped him play baseball in the driveway).
I notice that Leah still isnt talking to me. And I wonder how she could still be mad at me after all these years. I also wonder if she would have gone to college if I had stayed in NY.
Leah's mom runs her hand over my hair and tells me how beautiful it is (which is ironic, cause I always wanted Leah's straight black hair).
And then I wake up.

And that's why I dont remember our dreams, cause they're psycho.
Anybody want to analyze my dream?

Love, Love Me Do

There are some things that I just. dont. get. And I'm going to share one of them with you.
Now, I realize that I have a tendency to be over-analytical, and too damn logical when it comes to emotions of the heart... but I also believe I have had relatively good success with the matter, so it's not too far of a stretch to consider that I might have some good ideas.
One thing I dont get is people and the "I Love You". A recent conversation with a great friend, one that I have spent many years trying to pass on my wisdom, really got me thinking about this. She, after a few not so great boyfriends, has found a man that I deem worthy. He seems to have it under control, he's successful, he's got the God thing straight, and she's truly happy because of what he's brought into her life. A few months into their relationship, they started talking marriage, as many advancing couples do. Currently, they foresee being engaged before the first of the year and marrying in the summer. You'd think, with such lifelong decisions having already been made that they would have also admitted that they were in love. I mean, I assumed it. You dont start thinking serious marriage stuff until you've established that you love this person so much you WOULD marry them, right? So, when my friend dropped the bomb, I was nearly flabbergasted. So much that I didnt collect the thoughts I have now till after our conversation was over. Her story was, they were at this wonderful dinner at this beautiful hotel in San Diego, and the night was so amazing and he was so great, that she just wanted to tell him that she loved him. Which she does, duh. But she didnt. Why, you ask? Excellent question. Because SHE isnt saying it till HE says it. I was hoping she saw me roll my eyes (we were on the phone, btw). Why hasnt he said it? God only knows. But then, the clincher, she says "I mean, it's only words, right?" Wait a minute... isnt that my argument? If they're only words, then why wouldnt you just say them. I'm saying words right now... why? because they too, are only words. Very little meaning. I barely have to think to say them. And it certainly doesnt require much action (besides typing). She established that what was more important to her was that his actions spoke love, the words dont matter. Actions speak louder than words, yes. I'll give you that. But... still. If you know it, why not say it? What's the reason for waiting?
Now I'm not all about running around saying "I Love You." With Steve and I, I waited a bit of time, but I had real guidelines set up to follow. I wasnt going to say it just because he said it, and I was going to mean it. And since I had been in a relationship previous, and I didnt mean it when I said it, I had a pretty good idea of what I needed to feel. I didnt dillydally once I knew, it isnt something to be scared of, because, it's just words right? Only the most important words you want to hear from someone, the words that make you feel worthy of being alive. Who doesnt want to be loved and to be told that? Duh. So say it if you know you do.
Will I ever tell my friend this? No. I'm already in her brain saying "Be Real." and hopefully, she will be.
Note: I know 'love' is many things, unfortunately our silly english language took twenty different words and made them into one. If we still spoke greek, I could be more specific. But I'm talking about the "in love" love. The one that's been so hyped up by movies and novels and crap that we barely recognize it. The one we're all afraid of but want more than anything else. Hope that helps.
Woo. I feel much better now. Thanks.

I Am Sixteen Going on Seventeen

So, I've been without my wedding band and engagement ring for 8 days. I brought them in to get resized, and so they had to send them off to some far away land where little elves do magical things.
As I wait, ringless, I have noticed a few things.
1. Some people notice, some people don't. The Bagel Guy was quick to notice, and keeps noticing everytime I get a bagel. Last visit, he asked if I was sure I wasnt getting a divorce. Nice guy, apparently desperate, but nice guy. A friend of ours from church asked if everything was okay. Those are the only people to have verbally noted finger.
2. My rings are the only thing that made me look my age. I am currently back to trying to convince people that I'm old enough to drive. Just a bit ago, in class, the teacher asked if any of us (8 women) had a daughter. The whole class shook their heads, including myself. But when he noticed me... he gave me this look and a "haa." As if I werent old enough to have a child. It's been awhile since I felt the need to stand up and say "I'm 24 and a half, I've been married for 3 years and I could get pregnant if I wanted to!" Of course, a statement like that would be followed by sticking out my tongue, which would just negate my maturity all together. Nonetheless...

I Believe You Can Get Me Through The Night

So I was typing something... and then had to do some other stuff and accidentally opened a link in this window... but before it did, it asked me if I wanted to save my entry. I said yes. But now I have no idea where I saved it... and it wont tell me. Silly Blogger.
Here I am, Day two of my Dreamweaver course. The good news is, I know a lot more about Dreamweaver than I thought I did. Amazing that I actually learned something from a Liberty class (that wasnt taught by Dr. Troxel).
The teacher is kind of interesting. He's currently showing us his family's website. The man is overly obsessive about mapping images. He's got about twenty hotspots on one pictures.
Hopefully I'll learn more in the advanced class I'm taking next month.

Petie's Evil Twin, Peeto

At first I thought Petie was just alternating from his original spot on the window and the new spot by the front door. Then, one day, I spotted Petie at the window AND at the front door within seconds. So, either Petie is one fast spider OR he has an Evil Twin. Which would make a whole lot of sense, after that blocking the door incident. It did seem uncharacteristic of Petie, but I shrugged it off as some kind of teenage prank. Now, now I realize it was Peeto, trying to keep us from Petie. Bastard.
In other news... today was Bring Your Bear to Work Day. I brought in Purplebeary, one of my many bears. It was a tough decision, being that I have so many. But Purplebeary is too beautiful to not be shown off. Anne brought in several bears, one to share with Beth Ann (because why would a lesbian have a bear?). Beth Ann chose Mr. PaddyPaws to spend the day with. Sharon brought in her oldest most loved teddy bear (and it shows) Spencer. I like the name Spencer, I knew a great guy in college named Spencer, he was hilarious. I wonder where in the world he is now.
*Takes a moment to ponder those I've forgotten*
Tomorrow, thank God, is Friday. I love having Monday's off. The weeks are so much better when there are only 4 days. I cant wait till Nick is president and he instates The Sabrina Declaration.

I'm a loser, baby...

So, I said I was going to post something daily. And then I didnt. Sorry 'bout that. And I have no excuse.
Meanwhile, I havent been up to too much. Monday I took the day off work with Steve. We spent most of the day watching tv (which equals an almost perfect day to me), but we also went out and began Lesson One of Teaching Sabrina to Drive a Stick Shift. I was very nervous and apprehensive and completely lacking confidence (to say the least). It was probably one of the most stressful things I've ever tried to do. But the worst part is that people who already drive a stick seem to have forgotten what it was like to not know how. They only offer words of encouragement like "It's a breeze!" "It'll be second nature in no time!" Whereas when I sit there... and I'm being told all these things to do, I cant imagine having to drive on a real road with real things happening. Not only will I have to be thinking about when to push in the clutch and when to shift and when and how slowly to let off the clutch and gassing and breaking and steering with my left hand, but ALSO stop lights UP THERE and stop signs OVER THERE and things that happen BEHIND you. I am not enough of a person for such a task. Not to mention doing all the things you shouldnt be doing, like talking on the phone and switching CDs and listening to music way too loud. That's the only reason I like to drive anyway, so I can listen to my kickass CD player. All those things above just take away from that. With that said, god only knows when Lesson Two will be.
On my defense, Steve said I did very well. He's a good teacher, though he explains things way too in depth for me. But I would certainly want him teaching our children someday. Back to me doing well. I had some nice smooth take offs, and my only real blunder was that I would forget to be in neutral before taking my foot off the clutch and so it would stall. But no real gears grinding or anything like that. Steve said that when he tried to teach Erin Bradley (the girlfriend before me) that she nearly dropped the transmission out of his car. I have no idea what that means, but nice visual. Bradley probably still doesnt know how to drive a stick. Haha on her.

I'd Rather Be...

Sorry I havent been blogging. I guess we all go through weeks where we feel like we're too boring for you to know about. But then I thought, I certainly have something to share, whether it be a silly forward I got, or a piece of my past. So, I'm going to try to write daily (minus weekends). We'll see how it goes.
With that, here is a silly forward I got.
TOP 10 REASONS WHY TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX:

10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

9. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.

8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

7. You don't have to compliment the person who gives it to you.

6. It's OK if the person you're with fantasizes that you are someone else, because well ... you are.

5. Forty years from now, you'll still enjoy candy.

4. If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.

3. It doesn't matter if the kids hear ya moaning and groaning.

2. Less guilt the morning after.

1. And the No. 1 reason why trick or treating is better than sex is............. YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD!!!!!