Creative Juices

He's Here!!

Look! A Baby!

It's not mine. It's my boss's. But I've waited just as long as she has for it to arrive. Though she did carry the brunt of it, I think I was pretty involved, and some days were more trying than others.
But I held the reward, less than a day old. His name is Daniel, and he is precious.
Now, upon return from my hospital visit, just about everyone I talked to asked me if it made me want to have a child of my own. The answer is still no, and here are a few reasons why.
Reason #3426: I have three dependents, why do I need another? With a husband and two cats, I'm whiping asses all the time.
Reason #918: "It changes your life" That's what THEY say. THEY, meaning the sleep deprived parents of the world. THEY are just tyerd. THEY have no idea why what they just said is a good thing.
Reason #22279: I am unbelievably selfish. The only reason I ever entertain the idea of having a baby is because I want a reason to be fat. A reason to buy a new wardrobe.
So, until I get over myself and reach the point of insanity, I shall just watch others, hold the little one till I get bored and then go home, watch TV in peace and fall asleep on my tummy.

Funny Bunny

Some things can just make your day.
Take this, for example:

Funny

Here's a funny article my friend Slava recommended.

Back to Good

I used to be a writer. I thought I was a good one, too. In 9th grade I won 1st place in a state competition for a short story I had written. (My dad still brags about it, because, sadly, it is to date, my greatest achievement). Writing was my everything. And the greatest part about it was that I never had to try. I had all these characters and ideas and dialogue and descriptions in my head that it was often a fight to decide what to get on the page first. I went to a freakin Writer's Camp. Everyone knew my goal was to be a novelist.
And then, I dont know what the hell happened. I like to blame it on Steve, and getting married, and say some cheesy stuff about finally being completely happy that I didnt have anything else to write about. But that's not true. Yeah, most the time I'm happy, but some of the time I'm more depressed than I've ever been. You'd at least think then I could write something, live through some made up character who is either worse off than I am or has beaten their quarter-life crisis.
But instead, my mind is blank. There is nothing there. Besides frustration. I try too hard. I listen to a song and think, hmmm, this would be great in a movie.. and try to come up with a character to relate it to, but I'm struggling and she isnt really there and she doesnt stay around long enough for me to get to know her better or even commit her to paper.
And I have no idea whats wrong with me.
It's one of the saddest things I've ever experienced. To lose something so close to you, a part of you. To admit that it might really be gone. Will I ever get it back?
Well, thanks for letting me vent.

Classic

So I'm shoppin in Old Navy on my lunch break because my brother's birthday is next week. He loves when I buy him cool clothes, because, well, lets face it, I'm the coolest. I'm on line waiting, and as the guy in front of me is walking away with his stuff, he turns back and asks the cashier "One of these had a thing on it, did you get it?" And the cashier nods "Yeah." The guy walks away.
The cashier turns to me "Of course I got it, what, would I just purposefully leave it on there?" I laugh, my usual response. He continues, as he's ringing up my clothes and patting them down for the thing "I do do my job. I'm not saying I'm perfect or anything, but I do try." He totals me up, I pay, and turn to leave. I'm walking through the exit when "BEEP BEEP BEEP!!!" The alarm goes off! I turn to him, and he is already on the floor laughing. I'm hysterical as I walk back to him. I had really thought he had gotten them all... and I only had four items. So, I pour out my bag and we search through. He finds on in between the legs of a pair of shorts... very hidden. We're laughing the whole time.
It was, a classic moment.

Today is a day of mourning...

My Aunt Debbie is moving to Florida. From the Great and Wonderful New York City to Hot Yucky Disgusting Boring Stupid Humid Dumb Icky Gross Slow Annoying Florida.
Yay for her, cause apparently she's tyerd of the city and wants to be closer to my family (blah blah blah). Boo for me. Cause now, I havent got anyone to stay with in Manhattan. No beautiful hotel. No wonderful apartment across for the delicious bagel place and pizza place. No Broadway plays and shopping sprees at Lord & Taylor's. Nothing. No Seredipity's. No fettuccini alfredo from that place. No 5th Avenue GAP. No Central Park. Nothing!
Okay, okay, so I'm slightly over reacting. I still have two aunts and three cousins that live in the boroughs, plus a Slava in Jersey.
But no one that spoils me as much as Aunt Debbie does. :(
It is a sad sad day.

Away?!?!

How is EVERYONE on my buddylist away?!?! What are you people doing?!?! How could ALL of you possibly be THAT busy.
Nevermind, my mommy is here... she loves me. She's never away. :P

Movie Theater Etiquette

Saturday night, Steve and I went to a late movie with Mike. We decided to take our chances and see "Pirates of the Caribbean." Entertainment Weekly seemed surprised by it and I was too. Johnny Depp was great (though I heard a rumor that is character is the same as the one he plays in "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas"). The graphics were impressive as well. I enjoyed it.
Except.
Except the old man sitting next to me.
Rule 1: When entering an unpacked movie theater, choose a seat allowing one space between you and another person. Our large theater had, maybe, 12 people at the time. I will admit that we had some quality seats, but still. So, in comes Mr. Old Man, the rest of our row is completely empty, and he chooses a seat right next to me. Who in their right mind wants to sit next to someone they dont know when they have the choice to not do so? And this has happened before, Steve and I went to see a movie at the dollar theater, we were THE ONLY ONES there, and this girl comes in and sits down right next to Steve. What the hell???? Sometimes I wonder if she did it just to see how uncomfortable it would make us. Maybe it was a dare.
Rule 2: Turn off your cell phone. He's lucky it was the previews, or I would have kicked his ass right out. Now, what do normal people do when their cell phone rings at a theater? They either go "whoops" and shut it off without answering or they quickly answer, whisper "I'm at the movies" and hang up. It's only proper, people. Mr. Old Man, however, must be incapable of whispering. He shouted over the preview about some doctor and discharging a patient and Nurse Didnt Get It just couldnt understand him when he shouted five times "I'm in the theater, theater, movie theater, MOVIES, THE MOVIES"
Rule 3: If eating during the movie, chew with your mouth closed Come on! You've got to be kidding me. Everyone knows you chew with your mouth closed! Regardless of location.
Rule 4: When something gets stuck in your teeth, descreetly use your finger to remove it. DO NOT make that sound. Okay, maybe this one is just me... but I seriously hate that trying-to-suck-something-from-your-teeth sound.
Rule 5: If you can't breathe right, dont breathe at all. The man was a freakin steam boat. I was getting a facial just sitting next to him.
Yet I still managed to enjoy the movie.

A MidSummer's Addiction

FX has "a disturbingly perfect new drama" that recently premiered. I caught it Sunday night, and for reasons I'll never know, stayed up till 11:30 watching it. Nip/Tuck, is a drama about two South Beach Miami Plastic Surgeons. The guys have this sort of "Wings" contrast going, responsible vs. irresponsible. Except they're not brothers, just friends. But that's not the point. The point is... this show was incredibly disturbing, and I could not help but watch it. I watched half of it through my fingers, as they performed disgusting surgeries and liposuction... gross yellow fat. And then, when the guy shot the other guy, the surgeon let go of the big suction thing and yellow gross stuff splattered all over them. But I still watched. I was almost ready to puke, but I watched.
I even set the DVR to tape the new episode on Tuesday. Cause I'm addicted. The mom flushed her daughter's gerbil and the son wants to perform a self-circumsion cause his dad wont do it for him. Why the hell am I watching such crap? Is it because I'm feeling the empty void from Dawson's Creek?
Who knows.